i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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