i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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