In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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