if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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