he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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