Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
