that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Small penises have feelings too.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
