he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
