my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
