Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
