Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
