I want to stick my p in your. b.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
