My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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