let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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