:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize