Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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