I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
