i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
