party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
