I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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