I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
