I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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