dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
