I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
