Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
