I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
