Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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