I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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