i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
