tell your sister to shave her snatch
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
