The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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