careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
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Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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