she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize