We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
50% drunk capacity currently
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
