Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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