Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize