I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
