glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize