I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize