Its about making memories worth repressing
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
