go do what you do best...puke behind churches
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
