i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
