If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize