i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
