Are we in a gay sports bar?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
