dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
