Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I want her autograph on my taint
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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