Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
