With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
