i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
