If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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