NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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