We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
