Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
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I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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