his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
