Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
