Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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