No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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