Where is the hickey?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
