Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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